Getting engaged and starting a life with your partner is one of the most exciting things you’ll ever do. It’s a time when you lay it all on the line and put your faith in the connection you share. It can also be a daunting time because you want to be absolutely sure that you’re ready to take the next step, and you know it’s not something to take lightly.
Because it’s such a big deal, it’s important that you take some time to think things through and make sure you’re ready. Here are three questions to ask yourself while you’re thinking of popping the question.
Do You Have Similar Visions and Goals for Life?
One of the greatest parts about starting a life with the one you love is that you become a team. You’ll always have each other for support and guidance, no matter what life throws your way. You’ll meet challenges head-on together and set out to create the life you envision for yourselves, whatever that may be.
But what would happen if your partner didn’t share similar views as you? The significant, life-changing ones such as having kids — do you know your partner’s wishes? If not, or if you’re already aware that they don’t align with yours, it might be time to re-evaluate your situation. You don’t want to base your marriage on the hope that you can change your partner’s mind, or vice versa.
How Healthy Are Your Finances?
When it comes to starting a life with someone, your finances are certainly a factor. Although it would be nice to adopt the school of thought that money can’t buy happiness, having a sound financial foundation will make things easier in many ways.
Do you have outstanding debts that are causing you stress or making it hard for you to make ends meet? Take some time now to work on getting things under control, whether that means working with a financial counselor or getting yourself on a strict repayment and budgeting plan.
This is also a good time to consider your partner’s financial situation and habits. Is there anything concerning that comes to mind? Even if you don’t have plans to combine your money, it’s still worth noting that spending and saving habits can have a profound impact on relationships.
There are other things to consider regarding finances as well. For instance, maybe you’re starting to think about rings, but aren’t sure where to begin. There’s no doubt that the world of engagement rings is a big one. Some quick research on choosing a 3 carat diamond ring could be invaluable in helping you make your decision.
How Well Do You Communicate?
One of the most important things in all relationships is communication. How well would you say you and your partner communicate? Without solid communication, the higher the likelihood of conflicts in your relationship.
This isn’t to say that communication skills can’t be perfected, so don’t consider a lack of them a deal-breaker. However, it’s definitely something to be aware of and actively work on together.
There are so many ways to go about doing this, whether it’s through being more intentional about checking in with each other regularly, going to therapy, or simply making it more of a priority to talk with each other.
However, if there are larger issues such as resentment or even keeping secrets from each other, these are red flags that should not be ignored and may never be things you can overcome or feel comfortable with. In this case, you’ll both have to decide if your relationship is something that can grow in a healthy way.
Getting engaged should be a time filled with excitement and happiness, hopes for the future, and the drive to take life on as a team. Since this is such an important step to take, it’s essential that you’re not only comfortable with doing so but know that it’s one that you’re both ready to take.
Asking yourself some big (and potentially difficult) questions and having conversations will help you determine if proposing is the right move to make. Are you ready for it?